I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
