to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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