How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
