would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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