Texts From Last Night

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  (206): View more from Washington

  would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?

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  (206): would you consider dating someone with braces an investment? http://tfl.nu/nnkb
  Replies (12) Good night (686) Bad night (971)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  we are all sexual creatures

  (951): View more from California

  yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.

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  (360): we are all sexual creatures (951): yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any. http://tfl.nu/bk7c
  Replies (9) Good night (671) Bad night (2780)
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  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.

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  (709): took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable. http://tfl.nu/b0tu
  Replies (18) Good night (847) Bad night (3131)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed

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  (973): his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed http://tfl.nu/wvyq
  Replies (59) Good night (13237) Bad night (2380)
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  (707): View more from California

  just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.

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  (707): just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved. http://tfl.nu/zste
  Replies (20) Good night (9690) Bad night (923)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..

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  (412): You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off.. http://tfl.nu/ermc
  Replies (14) Good night (4953) Bad night (1367)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.

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  (217): Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship. http://tfl.nu/eyj6
  Replies (9) Good night (4631) Bad night (945)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america

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  (217): So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america http://tfl.nu/rqmz
  Replies (9) Good night (1587) Bad night (2223)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.

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  (651): This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease. (507): Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits. http://tfl.nu/blof
  Replies (18) Good night (2731) Bad night (948)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME

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  (908): Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME http://tfl.nu/m336
  Replies (18) Good night (2516) Bad night (647)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.

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  (202): This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point. http://tfl.nu/l1mt
  Replies (10) Good night (2484) Bad night (897)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.

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  (231): A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners. http://tfl.nu/ba89
  Replies (11) Good night (2280) Bad night (456)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends

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  (908): Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends http://tfl.nu/ooil
  Replies (3) Good night (606) Bad night (422)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.

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  (603): I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry. http://tfl.nu/hfvn
  Replies (3) Good night (866) Bad night (521)
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  (415): View more from California

  She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car

  (831): View more from California

  Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU

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  (415): She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car (831): Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU http://tfl.nu/qj3f
  Replies (0) Good night (451) Bad night (223)

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