you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?