Texts From Last Night

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  (636): View more from Missouri

  My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.

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  (636): My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week. http://tfl.nu/9o0t
  Replies (5) Good night (3646) Bad night (488)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.

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  (702): I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know. http://tfl.nu/ro3k
  Replies (68) Good night (9485) Bad night (904)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  did u really fuck my little sister???

  (706): View more from Georgia

  im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"

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  (678): did u really fuck my little sister??? (706): im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess" http://tfl.nu/dz4c
  Replies (155) Good night (15723) Bad night (1838)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  guess who has a date tonight

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed

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  (207): guess who has a date tonight (401): look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed http://tfl.nu/0667
  Replies (25) Good night (7006) Bad night (1037)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.

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  (941): Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick. http://tfl.nu/3ndf
  Replies (15) Good night (1675) Bad night (5962)
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  (212): View more from New York

  Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.

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  (212): Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend. http://tfl.nu/uai9
  Replies (6) Good night (2148) Bad night (680)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.

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  (262): I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state. (847): Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it. http://tfl.nu/q5kp
  Replies (7) Good night (861) Bad night (2215)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.

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  (914): If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls. http://tfl.nu/qfqf
  Replies (14) Good night (2899) Bad night (520)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.

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  (901): Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn. http://tfl.nu/sdqi
  Replies (6) Good night (532) Bad night (1896)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.

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  (306): I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better. http://tfl.nu/dkdn
  Replies (8) Good night (1360) Bad night (487)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero

  (618): View more from Illinois

  I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.

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  (618): He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero (618): I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome. http://tfl.nu/8x23
  Replies (16) Good night (2801) Bad night (561)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.

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  (512): I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out. http://tfl.nu/qokz
  Replies (4) Good night (809) Bad night (567)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them

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  (704): Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them http://tfl.nu/4k2w
  Replies (5) Good night (1779) Bad night (332)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.

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  (217): I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine. http://tfl.nu/bpq4
  Replies (1) Good night (1213) Bad night (329)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.

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  (202): Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive. http://tfl.nu/gois
  Replies (3) Good night (577) Bad night (211)

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