she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.