I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
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I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
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He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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