toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
