Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Randomize
