She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
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