How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
