we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
