I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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