is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
