brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
