I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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