Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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