u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize