You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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