she takes plan B like it's going out of style
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize