Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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