You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
