I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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