I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
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I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
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Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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