Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
