Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize