When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
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