i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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