Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
