Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
My hand turned me down
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Randomize
