She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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