I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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