Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
