you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
