absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
zippers are such a cool invention
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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