All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
