I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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