So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
