There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
