is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
