Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Randomize
