She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
