Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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