A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
