ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
i've created a new STD.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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