so explain again why im purple
no
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
