We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
