Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
