He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
