Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
