Welp...herpes.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
