it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
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