I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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