He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
