she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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