Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
