oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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