Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
