no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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