come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I think I won the penis lottery.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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