considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Randomize
