She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
