i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
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