can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
