he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
