you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Randomize
