My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
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I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
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Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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