You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
