The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
